The first one! [JAY]
[W] TALKS OF TRUAMA
well! first post, im not really sure where i should start to be honest. This will hopefully be a place i can unload and talk about things, but i want to at least start on a good foot! Im Jay, not really my name because i dont want to be found but it serves its function. also sorry if i misspell stuff, i never bothered to look at the spellings for things when i was a child and its biting me in the arse now!
i guess i could start this post with the surface level stuff, just to get myself started! Should i start with the fact that my father is continously close to death, or that i got maybe physically and emotionally abused by a close friend for about a year or two a few years back and i just caaant let it go! Maybe the fact that my mother screamed at me alot from the ages of 4-11, most of those years living in a one-bedroom flat with no doors! or the fact that my mother and father are divorced (that a classic though) and moving about alot sucked sometimes, the time the yelling with my mum started again over money and i moved out to my dads only for him to move to a place i cant follow a week later! those are the things that often come up because most of them happened semi recently. so going into those could be good. But maybe not now because my heart is going a bit quick and my head is going blank
Im sorry, im not trying to pretend that i have it the worst, alot of people in this world have it so much worse then me, i still had a good life, and i am greatful for all of it. but i do think some things that happened sucked a tad
im also sorry if this isnt very entertaining, i dont really know how to do this yet, but ill get better. I often have issues with thinking the things ive been through are as the kids would say (i am 17 years old) 'not that deep' and maybe they are. But it all hurt. and hopfully talking about it all on here will help me unpack it all. once and for all. There is so much i want to get past, so much i need to heal from. I will, its just a long process
anyways im glad i made the first post, hopefully ill keep doing it and it will come to some result